Hands off the lighter
by Placebia
Summary: One must make sacrifices in the name of love. (More info in the chapter)
1. Chapter 1

**AN** - Ok, the plot is pretty simple - Masamune and Ritsu make a deal: if Masamune quits smoking, Ritsu will confess. However, without his cigarettes the editor-in-chief becomes ... odd. To be honest, I haven't thought this story entirely through, so I might abandon it in the middle. Once again, sorry for crappy title. :)

Reviews are welcome, like always. Enjoy! :)

I don't own SiH.

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**Chapter 1 - Prologue**

Ritsu stirred and opened his emerald eyes, awakened by the chirping of the birds which was coming from outside. Blinking sleepily, the brunette turned to one side and nuzzled in Masamune's broad chest, closing his eyes and sighing sleepily. A few seconds passed before his still hazy brain realised what was happening. The green-eyed man yelped and pulled away, falling out of the bed with a loud _thud_.

- Onodera?

His heart skipped a beat when he heard his ex-lover's deep and sleepy voice. Ritsu curled in a ball on the floor, trying to be as silent as possible, in childish hopes of remaining unnoticed by the older male who was emerging from the bed. Of course, Masamune only had to glance down to spot him. He frowned slightly.

- What are you doing? – The dark-haired man asked tiredly.

- Ah … Nothing! – Ritsu said as he jumped up, laughing nervously. – Uh … did I pass out again?

He couldn't remember what had happened the previous night. His last recollection was a fading memory of Masamune telling him that they were done and they could go home. After that his mind was blank until just a few minutes ago.

- Yes. – His boss nodded. – You passed out in the elevator as we were leaving the office. I had to carry you to my car and then to my apartment.

- Ah, thanks … sorry for being a nuisance … again … - Ritsu muttered.

- Idiot. Instead of apologizing, try to take better care of yourself. – Masamune scolded him sternly as he got out of the bed.

- I take care of myself! It's not my fault that our authors keep breaking their deadlines and causing us stress. – The younger defended.

He hastily gathered his stuff and rushed to the door, wishing to go to his apartment. He feared that if he stayed any longer his ex-boyfriend might try something … inappropriate.

- Oi, Onodera. Stay here, I'll make you breakfast.- Masamune said following him closely.

- Ah, no thanks. – The green-eyed editor quickly said. – I should go home … Wah!

He found himself pinned to the door, held by two strong arms. He gulped as he stared right into those intense hazel orbs. Somehow he always found it hard to avert his eyes whenever he and Masamune locked gazes. Ritsu felt his cheeks were burning.

- Uh … Takano-san …

- Why do you keep running away? – Masamune interrupted him.

- … Wh-what?

- You heard me. – The older man sighed. – I care about you, I support you at work, I tell you I love you on a daily basis. – Ritsu mumbled something inaudible at the last words. – What more do you want? Please tell me what I have to do to convince you that my love for you is real. – Masamune leaned closer, whispering. – I'm willing to do anything, Ritsu, I'm _extremely_ desperate here.

- Ah, Takano … - Ritsu's blush darkened. – A-as I've told you many times before, I've made my job my top priority.

- _I_ am a part of your job. Does that mean that _I_ am your top priority? – Masamune asked smirking.

- D-don't bend the meaning of what I say like that … - Ritsu muttered. He took a deep breath and tried reasoning with the older man. – Takano-san, you've seen how much we have to work. We often have to stay in the office until late in the night, we are constantly under stress and we barely have enough free time to even take a shower properly. How can anyone manage to have a relationship in this situation?

- Are you saying that if your workload was different you'd want a relationship? – Masamune asked.

Ritsu's breath caught in his throat. He shut his eyes tightly, feeling his cheeks were burning with embarrassment. Why did his ex-lover have to utter such … inappropriate things? The green-eyed editor felt his knees were growing weak. He sighed tiredly.

- Takano-san, please … just don't … - He begged desperately.

Masamune sighed and pulled away. Ritsu had little time to feel relieved before he heard a familiar clicking sound. Seconds later the well-known and unpleasant scent of burning tobacco hit his nostrils and he opened his eyes, seeing that Masamune had lit a cigarette. He frowned slightly in disgust.

- Those are bad for you, you know? – He asked.

His ex-lover just shrugged.

- You once asked me how I can cope with all my work. – He raised the cigarette in his hand. – _That's_ how.

- But that's dangerous! Smoking can cause various health problems: cancer, heart problems, asthma … not to mention that it will shorten your life significantly!

Masamune exhaled a puff of smoke and placed the cigarette in an ashtray. He smirked, stepping closer to Ritsu, who flinched and quickly looked away.

- Are you saying that you want me to quit smoking? – The dark-haired man asked.

- I … it's not that I want to, but … it would be nice, I guess. And it would be good for you… - The green-eyed man started mumbling, blushing like mad.

- Hmm … how about a deal? If I quit smoking, you say you love me.

Ritsu stared at his ex-lover wide-eyed. What was Masamune saying? The younger looked away embarrassed.

- What are you saying, Takano-san? – He muttered to buy some time.

- What do you think? I've been a smoker since college and I smoke at least a pack a day. So, to show you how much you mean to me, I am willing to give up smoking, but only in exchange for your confession. – The dark-haired man smiled. – What do you say?

- I … uh … well, if you really quit smoking, then I guess … b-but as you said, you've been a smoker for a long time, so it would be really hard to quit …

- Which, of course, is another proof of my undying love for you. – Masamune said with a sly smile. – Well, do you accept my deal?

Ritsu hesitated. He was well aware of his boss's stubbornness, so he knew that this was a bad idea. And yet he didn't want to say no. He could imagine the hurt in Masamune's golden eyes if he rejected the offer and it made him feel terrible. He sighed and nodded slowly. His ex-lover smiled mischievously.

Ritsu already knew he would soon be sorry for this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The way went by as normal as it could for the Emerald department. With growing worry Ritsu noticed that his boss hadn't taken a single smoke break – something which surprised even people from other departments. The green-eyed editor was quite anxious even though he kept reminding himself that this was just the first day. After all, the first days were always easy.

Some time in the late afternoon the two found themselves alone in the office. Mino was out to get some food, Tori had rushed off to one of his authors who apparently was in a crisis, and Kisa had just gone to the restroom. Masamune took the opportunity to sneak behind Ritsu and steal a quick kiss. The younger man scowled unhappily at this, even though deep down he secretly enjoyed the kiss.

- So, would you like to do it now, or should we wait till the evening when we are in a more romantic place? – Masamune asked eagerly.

- What are you talking about? – Ritsu asked confused and slightly worried.

- Your confession, of course. – The dark-haired man frowned. – Don't tell me you're going back on your word.

- I'm not, but … it's been less than a day! You need to prove that you've really quit smoking.- Ritsu said nervously.

His boss stared at him for a few minutes, making him feel incredibly awkward. The younger man felt his body beginning to heat up under the hazel stare.

- Alright then, I understand. – Masamune finally said. – Is a month long enough for you?

- I … yeah, I guess … - Ritsu muttered.

At that moment Kisa came back and Ritsu immediately returned to his work, flustered beyond belief. A month was a long time, he told himself. His boss was sure to be tempted to smoke.

_But do I want him to be tempted?_

Ritsu flinched and shook his head energetically. What was he thinking? He had agreed to Masamune's suggestion without completely thinking it through and this was the first time he realised that in a month he may have to confess his feelings to his boss. How would he be able to do that when he was too embarrassed to admit the truth to himself?

- Onodera, go and make copies of these for everyone. – Masamune ordered, handing him a stack of papers – he had already switched to 'work' mode.

Ritsu flinched, having his flow of thoughts interrupted. He hastily grabbed the papers, avoiding to look his boss in the eyes, and hurried off to the copy machines. He sighed. It was still the first day, he shouldn't be so worked up!

He decided to act normal. He shouldn't allow his private life to interfere with his work. He was a skilled editor, after all.

The green-eyed editor went back to his department and placed the copies on Masamune's desk. Returning to his own, he took a manuscript one of his authors had handed in just that morning and started reading it. He was determined to prove he was a good editor.

The next few days Ritsu grew more and more nervous. Masamune was obviously resolved to quit smoking –and to finally get that confession out of Ritsu. His boss even threw out his cigarettes and gave his lighter to Ritsu. 'So that I won't be tempted.' he had explained.

Ritsu had the weekend off and spent the better part of it trying to clean his apartment. Even though he hadn't shown it, his recent collapse had scared him immensely so he tried to live healthier. He realised he had to be in decent health in order to succeed in his work.

He was done with the kitchen and living room and was about to head to clean his bedroom when the doorbell rang. Wondering who it may be, Ritsu went to answer it. He was startled when he saw Yokozawa Takafumi.

- … Yokozawa-san? W-what are you doing here? – He stuttered nervously.

Even though things had been pretty normal between them recently, Ritsu couldn't easily forget everything that had happened not so long ago. And as far as he knew Takafumi, the older man hadn't forgotten it as well. But at the moment he was distracted, looking at Ritsu with a raised eyebrow. Ritsu looked down and saw that he was still wearing the light pink rubber gloves he had put on before he had started cleaning. He shifted awkwardly.

- What do you want, Yokozawa-san? – He asked politely.

- Are you the one behind Masamune's decision to quit smoking? – The salesman asked in his usual gruff voice.

- Ah … s-sort of … yeah … - The green-eyed editor mumbled, blushing.

Takafumi watched him for a while before crossing his arms and sighing.

- You're gonna go through hell. – He warned. – Masamune tried to quit smoking before too, just after he managed to take Emerald to the top. He … well, he didn't take it very well. In the end it was so unbearable that the other editors practically begged him to start smoking again. So, just know what you've got yourself into.

Ritsu gulped.

- W-well, he acts normal so far … - He muttered, hopeful. – Maybe this time it will be different?

- Don't count on it. – The older man said grimly. – The first week is somewhat easy, and then hell begins… - He sighed. – Does it really bother you so much that Masamune is smoking? Why would you want him to suffer that much?

- I don't! – Ritsu replied fiercely. – Takano-san decided it on his own!

Takafumi frowned.

- And you are sure you have nothing to do with this? – He asked slowly.

- W-well … - Ritsu looked away blushing. – W-we sort of have this arrangement … - He mumbled.

- What arrangement?

- W-we agreed that … uh … if Takano quits smoking, I … I'll tell him I … l-love him … - Ritsu muttered almost inaudibly.

- What? – Takafumi exclaimed loudly. – Are you an idiot? Do you enjoy playing these games with him?

- I'm not playing games with him! – Ritsu said, widening his eyes. – It was all his idea.

- But you went along with just to watch him suffer!

Ritsu sighed. He lightly pinched the skin between his eyebrows, feeling his head beginning to pound. He suddenly felt extremely tired.

- I don't want to see Takano suffer. – He said exhausted. – He decided to do this on his own, I didn't make him do it against his will or something. Now, if that's all, could you leave? I'm rather busy at the moment.

Takafumi's frown deepened.

- Just be careful. Masamune will get … unpredictable, so try not to push him too much. – He said. – But ask yourself if your love for Masamune justifies the suffering he will go through.

Ritsu lowered his gaze ashamed. He hadn't thought about how his boss would feel during that month. Now he realised that quitting wouldn't be easy for Masamune and felt terrible.

- I'll talk with him about it. – He said quietly. – But if he's really determined to quit smoking, I don't think I'll be able to change his mind. Besides, it'll be good for him.

- I don't disagree that quitting smoking is the wise thing to do. After all, none of us is getting younger… - Takafumi sighed. – But it's just … Masamune has gone through so much and I don't want to see him suffer more…

- Me too. – Ritsu agreed quietly.

- Well, then, can I count on you to straighten this mess out?

- I'll at least try… - The younger mumbled.

Without saying another word, Takafumi turned and headed to the elevator. Ritsu sighed and closed the door, returning to his housework.

His task was interrupted an hour later by the doorbell ringing again. He sighed and stood up, taking his gloves off. He walked to the front door and opened it. To his surprise he found Masamune standing in front of him.

- Takano-san, what are you doing here?

As far as he knew, his boss was quite busy that weekend. He had to meet with some of his authors who were having their works turned into animes. Ritsu observed him carefully, but he couldn't see anything out of the ordinary.

- I'm finished with my work and I wanted to see you. – Masamune said.

He stepped into the apartment and embraced the younger editor. But he immediately pulled back, wrinkling his nose and frowning.

- You smell like a chemical factory. – He stated.

- I was cleaning the whole day. – Ritsu explained and frowned at the evident disbelief in the dark-haired man's eyes. – Hey, I can take care of myself!

- By exposing yourself to dangerous chemicals? – His boss asked with a smirk.

Ritsu pouted and looked away, blushing slightly. Masamune chuckled.

- You get cuter every day … - He said lovingly.

Ritsu's blush deepened and he embarrassedly told his ex-lover to stop saying such nonsense. Then he remembered his previous conversation with Takafumi. He took a deep breath.

- Uh … Takano-san, we … we should talk about this … deal we have … - He muttered awkwardly.

- Why? – Masamune frowned. – What do you want to tell me?

- Well … you see, you've been smoking for a long time, and I just thought that it might be hard for you to quit … I m-mean I'm not a smoker, but I can imagine how difficult it must be for you right now…

Masamune crossed his arms and frowned in displeasure.

- Who have you been talking to? – He asked. – I spoke to Yokozawa this morning and he told me the same thing. Only with much more swearing… - He chuckled. – I'll be fine, don't worry about me. I'm doing this for you, to prove to you how much I love you.

- You don't need to do this for me! – Ritsu exclaimed. – You don't need to prove anything to me! – He looked away blushing.

- Then if you are certain that I really love you, why are you holding back? – The dark-haired man asked as he grabbed the younger's shoulders. – Why can't you say that you love me? – He whispered sadly.

- I … I don't know … I just … can't …

Ritsu closed his eyes. His body was trembling. A whimper escaped his throat and he pressed a hand to his mouth.

- I'm sorry. – He mumbled. – I'm not doing this to torture you or anything … I truly am scared …

Masamune pulled him in for a tight hug. He caressed Ritsu's back with one hand while the other was resting on the back of the younger man's head. The green-eyed editor wrapped his arms around his boss and wept, with his face buried in the other's chest.

- Are you scared that what happened back then might happen again? – Masamune asked quietly.

- I … I d-don't know … maybe … - Ritsu sniffed quietly. – I g-guess I'm scared to get hurt again … t-though the f-first time wasn't completely your f-fault … - He mumbled.

- I won't hurt you ever again. I promise. – The dark-haired man whispered. – Believe me Ritsu, not a day passes without me regretting that goddamn laughter. If I could go back and change it, I would, believe me. – He sighed. – I love you. And I know it must be hard for you to trust me. That's why I want to do this. I want you to see what I'm ready to go through for you. So don't try to change my mind.

The green-eyed man shifted slightly, but remained in Masamune's arms. He sighed.

- Alright. If you really want to do this and you know what the risks are, then I'll be by your side and support you. – He smiled lightly. – I hope that by the end of that month, I'll find the strength to say what you want me to say.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN - **Here's chapter 3! :D Sorry if it's a bit crappy, I've been feeling sort of depressed lately.

Anyway, enjoy and review if you'd like. :)

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**Chapter 3**

It was once again the end of the cycle. All the editors in the Emerald department were either passed out on their desks, or – in Ritsu's case – passed out under piles of papers and rejected manuscripts. This time it had been particularly hard for the team to finish their tasks on time and everybody knew why. Their editor-in-chief had been even more demonic than usual and kept on shouting at everyone who crossed his path. They had lost three part-timers just in the last two days alone – they had simply ran away from the office in tears. Everybody was on edge, even Mino had stopped smiling. And everybody knew – when Mino stopped smiling, things were _bad_.

- Ricchan, you are friends with Takano, aren't you? Talk to him. – Kisa whispered to Ritsu, which didn't go undetected by Masamune.

- Kisa! I hope you and Onodera are discussing how to wrench the manuscripts from those neanderthals of yours you call authors! – He shouted from across the room, making everybody flinch.

- Yes, boss! – The eldest editor replied immediately and after giving Ritsu one last pleading look, he returned to his work.

Ritsu gulped and stood up from the floor, going to Masamune slowly. He knew that he would most likely have his head bitten off, but he felt guilty that his co-workers had it so hard because of him. He gulped once again and quietly called his boss's name. Masamune glared at him and Ritsu flinched.

- Uh, why don't we go get some coffee? – He suggested in what was barely a whisper.

- What? Onodera, do you realise that our deadline is – he checked his watch – three hours ago! The printers have been calling me every fifteen minutes, and none of our authors have handed in a manuscript! What the hell are they doing, are they having a competition to see who can piss me off the most. Cause they're all winning first prize! If I move my ass an inch away from this place every will fall apart, don't you see that!

Ritsu flinched and took a step back. He felt hurt by the outburst, though it was hardly surprising. Quitting smoking and the end of a cycle all at once could certainly drive anyone insane.

- L-look, Takano, we are all capable editors here. – He began carefully. – You can allow yourself a small break. Come on… - He gently tugged on Masamune's sleeve.

His boss slapped his hand away, barking at him to return to his desk. Ritsu sighed. _Time for the big guns_, he told himself. He took a deep breath and leaned down.

- I want some alone time with you … - He whispered in his ex-lover's ear.

Masamune looked at him with wide eyes, his mouth slightly open. For the first time in a few days a smile graced his features. The younger editor felt his heartbeat increasing and couldn't help but blush. Did he just … try to seduce his boss at work?

- Fine, let's go get some coffee. – Masamune said calmly.

The two went to the break room and found it empty. Happy, Masamune closed the door and embraced the younger editor.

- Finally warming up to me, huh? – He chuckled. – It was about time.

Ritsu blushed, but after all, he was the one who had asked to be alone with his boss, so he couldn't exactly back down now. Sighing quietly, he wrapped his arms around Masamune and rested his forehead on his shoulder.

- Takano-san, are you feeling alright? – He asked quietly. – You seemed … angrier than usual.

- I'm fine now. I'm with you. – Masamune replied and he hungrily kissed Ritsu's neck. – Oh, god, I feel like I haven't touched you in ages. – He mumbled. – It feels so relaxing to hold you.

- Takano-san, was your attitude back then because of you not smoking? – The green-eyed man asked hesitantly.

Masamune glanced at him and shrugged lightly.

- I guess. My body is used to the nicotine, and now that I don't smoke I keep craving it and it aggravates me. – He smiled. – But now I feel perfectly fine. – He chuckled. – Guess from now on you will be my daily fix.

Ritsu blushed madly. He closed his eyes and gave into the hug. Masamune's warm body … his gentle touch … it relaxed him immensely. The younger man felt that all the stress that had accumulated in his body for the last few days just wash away. He exhaled softly.

- If it makes you feel better, then I don't mind… - He muttered.

- I'm glad to hear that. – Masamune chuckled. – At this rate you'll end up confessing to me before the month is over. Though I don't really mind that.

Ritsu blushed and muttered something in a state of stubborn defiance. But he didn't let go. Instead, he squeezed his ex-lover tightly.

- Um, maybe we should get back to work? – He mumbled after a while.

- Yeah. Just … - Masamune leaned down and quickly pecked Ritsu on the lips. – Thanks.

The younger just smiled lightly.

By some miracle they managed to survive through the infamous 'hell week'. The manuscripts were collected and handed to the printers and Ritsu finally felt as if he could breathe normally. He was so relieved he even agreed to go home with Masamune – something which he usually avoided, for obvious reasons.

- Let's have dinner together. – His boss suggested.

- Eh? – The younger jumped slightly surprised. – Um … I'm …

- You can't be busy, we just finished work. – Masamune pointed out. – Come on.

- Yeah… okay… - Ritsu sighed.

He followed his boss into his apartment. He took his shoes off and entered the kitchen.

- You need help? – He asked.

- Huh? From you? – Masamune chuckled. – Not unless I wanted you to slice off your finger or something. Do you even know how to cook?

- Of course I do! Well, I'm not a chef, but I can prepare some basic meals. -Ritsu blushed embarrassed. – What do you take me for? I'm a mature, capable adult!

- Well, seeing how you almost killed yourself with energy drinks, I have my doubts. – The dark-haired man replied. – But if you wanna help me, then I'll gladly help you. It's as if we're married.

Ritsu blushed and looked away. Why did his ex-lover had to say such embarrassing things all the time? He sighed.

- What do you want me to do? – He asked quietly.

- Can you peel the potatoes?

He nodded. He took a knife and started doing what he had been asked to. His first few attempts were rather clumsy – it had been a while since he had peeled anything. But he quickly got the hang of it – it was actually quite a simple task, although the peelings had the habit of sticking everywhere.

- How do you have time to cook for yourself? – Ritsu asked with a full mouth.

- I just know how to manage my time exceptionally well. – Masamune boasted with a smirk. – I'm glad you like my cooking.

- Well, you're a very good cook. – The younger man admitted.

- You know, if we lived together you could eat my cooking every day. – The dark-haired man leaned back in his chair with a smirk on his face.

Ritsu choked on his food. He coughed fiercely and wiped his mouth. He averted his eyes, blushing intensely.

- Takano-san, we … we aren't even together … besides, I'll need to change my address and somebody at work will notice that it's the same as yours and then how will we explain this? – He asked.

- I could think of something. – Masamune shrugged. – Plus I'd be able to take care of you.

- You make it sound like I'm incapable of taking care of myself. – The green-eyed man muttered and pouted unhappily. – I'll tell you I'm doing fine and I've managed to do well even before I came to Marukawa. – He added and crossed his arms.

- Yeah, it's a real miracle how you've survived so far. – His boss chuckled.

Ritsu's blush darkened and he looked away embarrassed. The truth was that editing shoujo manga was much more difficult than literature. He was able to keep his life together before, but after being transferred to Marukawa – or, more precisely, to the Emerald department – his work was eating all his time, leaving with barely enough time to get some sleep, let alone cook a decent meal.

- Thanks … - He muttered. – For always looking out for me. I realise I don't really deserve it.

- You're the guy I love, of course that I'm looking out for you. – Masamune frowned. – I never wanna hear you say you don't deserve it ever again.

- But I hurt you so many times before… - Ritsu muttered sadly.

- That's all in the past. – The dark-haired man interrupted him. – I'm not holding any grudges, so you should stop beating yourself up.

He smiled at the younger and Ritsu felt his body was heating up. He wondered if anyone would believe him if he told them that Masamune had a dreadfully striking smile. The way his eyes sparkled with joy, how his cheeks seemed to refill … it made Ritsu's heart beat immensely faster and coloured his cheeks a dark shade of red.

After dinner he offered to do the dishes as a thank you. He finished the task as quickly as possible and then tried to get back to his apartment. But Masamune stopped him by wrapping his arms around the younger and sitting down on the floor, pulling Ritsu onto his lap.

- Eeeh! Takano-san, what are you doing?

- I usually light a cigarette after dinner. – The dark-haired man said and smirked. – And since we agreed that from now on I'll substitute smoking with your lips …

- Woah, wait, when did we agree on _that_? – Ritsu asked blushing.

- In the break room. – Masamune reminded. – Come on, Onodera, do you want me to suffer?

Ritsu looked at him and shifted uncomfortably.

- O-of course that I don't want to. It's just that … how much did you smoke?

- About a pack a day. – His boss smirked. – But now I crave even more.

- What? – The green-eyed man exclaimed flustered. – But that … Mphmm….

Masamune didn't even wait for him to finish his sentence. He crashed his lips on Ritsu's, invading the other's mouth and sucking on his love's tongue. He was glad to see that the younger man didn't struggle so much.

- You need to stay here for the night. – Masamune whispered in Ritsu's ear.

- W-what? Why?

- Because I have a habit of waking up in the middle of the night and smoking.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN - **Here's chapter 4! ^_^ Sorry it took so long to write and post it, I've been busy. :)

Enjoy and review, please! :)

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**Chapter 4**

_Okay … we're halfway through the second week …_

Ritsu opened his eyes. Turning on one side, he found his face buried in Masamune's broad chest. He sighed, but didn't pull back. He was by now used to this situation. He had decided to stay at his boss's place after the dark-haired man almost tore down his door a few nights ago, crazy for Ritsu's touch.

However, no matter what he was going through, Masamune seemed determined to last till the end of the month. In fact, Ritsu had long ago abandoned any illusion that his ex-lover might get tempted to smoke. And recently he had caught himself thinking how exactly he would confess to Masamune, which equally terrified him and made him feel relieved. Now that he knew that confessing was inevitable, he wasn't feeling scared anymore.

It had been one and a half weeks since Masamune had stopped smoking. He had become rather moody and unpredictable at times, and the only thing that could cheer him up whenever he was in one of those states was Ritsu. The green-eyed man secretly felt pleased that he could bring a smile on his ex-lover face. But he was a bit disturbed by the fact that his boss had become more … affectionate than ordinary. Masamune couldn't even control himself while they were at work. Luckily, the others seemed to attribute his odd behaviour to the lack of nicotine in his system – otherwise Ritsu would have died of embarrassment.

The younger yelped startled when Masamune snaked his arms around him. The dark-haired man chuckled and kissed his love on the forehead before pulling him closer.

- Good morning… - He muttered.

- Takano-san … need … breathe … - The green eyed man whined muffled.

The dark-haired man immediately released him.

- Come on, let's take a shower together. – He suggested.

- W-what? No! – Ritsu blushed. – That's not something two grown men should be doing.

- Don't act like you've never done it before. – Masamune stated with a smirk.

- That one time doesn't count!

The older man chuckled and got out of bed. He offered to take a shower first, so that he could make breakfast while the other was in the bathroom. Ritsu frowned and lay back in bed, waiting for his turn to go use the shower. He thought how … worrying it was that he had got used to being around Masamune. He rarely even felt the urge to push his boss away . There were even times when he thought that he actually welcomed his boss's advances. The young man blushed in embarrassment.

_What is wrong with me?_

Masamune returned, clad in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. Ritsu widened his eyes slightly and quickly turned to look the other way, a wide blush spreading all over his face. The dark-haired man chuckled.

- You want me to take it off? – He asked, raising an eyebrow.

- No! – The green-eyed man snapped back.

Masamune looked quite amused. He went to the bed and sat down, caressing Ritsu's auburn hair lovingly.

- Despite what you say – he began softly – you're still as innocent as you were ten years ago.

The younger man blushed and glared at his boss. Masamune chuckled and stood up. Going to his closet, he dressed himself and went to the kitchen. Ritsu crawled out of the bed and headed for the bathroom. He quickly took a shower and brushed his teeth. He returned to the bedroom and took some of his clothes from the closet – yes, he and Masamune now shared a closet. He blushed, thinking that they were basically living like a couple already.

Ritsu went in the kitchen where he was welcomed by Masamune. The dark-haired man grabbed him by the waist and pinned him to the wall, kissing him passionately. The younger tried to resist but after seeing his efforts were fruitless he just gave in. However, he did push his ex-lover away when a burning smell reached his nose.

- W-wait … are you cooking something? – He looked at the stove and yelped, seeing a large cloud of dark smoke emerging from a frying pan. – Takano! Something's burning!

He quickly ran to the stove, taking the pan away and placing it in the sink. He coughed – he had inhaled some of the smoke - and wiped his teary eyes.

- Please be careful! – He scolded Masamune. – You could have started a fire!

- Ah, sorry … - The dark-haired man replied. – I forgot about that. Are you okay?

- Yeah, I am. – Ritsu replied. – But you should be more careful…

- I know … I just really wanted to kiss you.

Ritsu looked at his boss worried. This was quite uncharacteristic of him – to forget something on the stove. He'd known him for almost a year and this was the first time something like this had happened. The green-eyed man frowned slightly concerned.

- Are you feeling alright? – He asked.

- Yeah. – Masamune nodded. – Why do you ask?

- Eh .. it's nothing…

His boss looked at him with raised eyebrows. Then he just shrugged.

- Looks like we'll have to go out to get something to eat. – He said, nodding to the pan in the sink. – I'll clean this mess later. Come on, I'm starving.

After breakfast the two returned to the apartment. Masamune went to clean his mess from that morning while Ritsu tried to do some paperwork that he had brought home from the office. He was over with it fairly quickly – by now he was so used to it he could do it asleep (like he actually did when it was the end of the cycle). He looked up when Masamune entered the living room.

- Done with work? – He asked.

- Yeah… - The younger man nodded and smiled lightly. – Now I really feel like I have the day off.

His boss smiled and sat down next to Ritsu. He pecked him lightly on the lips.

- What do you wanna do now? – The dark-haired man inquired.

- Oh, I'd just like to relax a little. It's been quite stressful at work after all.

Masamune nodded in agreement. He wrapped his arm around the younger's shoulders and pulled him closer, resting his head on top of Ritsu's. He closed his eyes, yawning slightly.

- I'm gonna take a nap. – He murmured.

- T-then please go use your bed, not me … - The green-eyed man stuttered blushing.

- You're more comfy. – Masamune smiled still with closed eyes.

Ritsu blushed even darker and mumbled something inaudible. He wanted to push his boss away but when he saw that the older man was already dosing off, he couldn't do it. He sighed in defeat, allowing his ex-lover to lean on him. But soon he discovered that Masamune was too heavy for him and tried to push him so that he could lie down on the sofa. Of course, he was so clumsy that he managed to wake the older man up.

- Ah, sorry … - Ritsu muttered apologetically.

- It's okay. Come here … - Masamune muttered and cuddled closer to him. – Your hair smells nice.

- It's your shampoo. – The younger pointed out.

- It smells better on you. – His boss said smiling, burying his nose in the other's auburn locks.

Ritsu blushed. But as embarrassed as he was, his body relaxed almost against his will. He sighed and closed his eyes briefly. He didn't intend to fall asleep, but he did anyway. He woke up an hour later and was startled to see his ex-lover still lying on top of him, fully awake.

- D-did you even sleep at all? – He stuttered embarrassed.

- I planned to, but after seeing how cute you looked I just sat there watching you. – Masamune chuckled. – I rarely get the chance to see you sleeping. If I do it too much while you're passed out at work people would start talking and you'd be pissed off at me even though it's your fault that you're so cute.

- S-shut up … Now get off me. I need to go to the bathroom.

When Ritsu returned he saw Masamune was still sitting on the sofa, looking quite anxious. He quickly went to the older man.

- Takano? Is something wrong? - The green–eyed man asked concerned.

- No, nothing's wrong… I'm just a bit … impatient … I think it's getting to me.

- What's getting to you? – Ritsu inquired confused.

- The need to smoke. – Masamune said. – I've been able to hold back until now, but I guess all the nicotine has left my system, so now I crave more… - he frowned.

- Well, be strong… it will fade away soon, I hope. – The younger said gently. – As I said before, I'm here by your side.

Masamune smiled.

- I love hearing you say that. – He said softly. – It's almost as good as hearing you say you love me. – He grinned. – Which I can't wait to hear again, by the way.

Ritsu blushed and looked away.

- There are still almost three weeks till the end of the month. – He reminded.

- Are you saying you think that I'll give up? – His boss asked frowning. – Or are you saying you **want** me to smoke?

- What? No. I'd be happy if you stopped smoking.

- Hm? – Masamune smirked. – So, in other words, if you want me to really quit smoking, then you want me to win our little bet … which means that you want to say you love me, which –correct me if I'm wrong – must mean that you really love me.

- I-I … I'm gonna go out for some fresh air. – Ritsu said turning around so that the older man wouldn't see his burning face.

- You want me to come with you?

- Ah, no, thanks. I need some time to be alone. – The younger said quickly. – I'll be back soon.

He headed to the door, opening it and ready to step out. But suddenly he backed into the apartment, slamming the door shut.

- Huh? – Masamune looked up confused. – That was sooner than I thought …

- I didn't go out. – Ritsu muttered nervously.

- Why not? – He frowned when the younger man started muttering something inaudible. – What was that?

- I said that … I saw An-chan standing in front of my apartment …

The dark-haired man stared at him with wide eyes. Ritsu shrunk and looked at his lap. He knew that Masamune didn't like his fiancée at all and felt uncomfortable every time her name was mentioned.

- What is she doing here? – His boss asked coldly.

- I don't know … I haven't talked to her for a long time. Maybe she just decided to visit me out of the blue? She had a habit of doing this before. – Ritsu explained.

- Then how did she know it was your day off? – Masamune asked annoyed.

- I don't know! – The younger replied hotly. – You think that I told her?

- Well someone must have!

- So, if I've told her that, then why would I hide from her? – Ritsu asked.

- Well then, I guess you won't mind if I went and told her to stay the hell away from the person I love! – Masamune said standing up.

He was half-way to the front door when the green-eyed man caught up with him and grabbed his arm to stop him.

- Please don't! – He pleaded. – If she knew I was staying here she'd tell my mother! Just ignore her, she'll go away.

- Why are you defending her? – The dark-haired man asked irritated. – Do you love her or something?

- No! Look, you're kinda … unstable right now. – Ritsu said carefully. – You're quitting smoking at the moment, so you're very irritable. There is nothing going on between me and An-chan. But I don't want you to cause a scene, especially in the building where we live. - He sighed and wrapped his arms around Masamune. – I've never thought of her as something more than a friend. And ever since I met you again … I've thought even less of her.

The dark-haired man turned to look at him. A wide grin spread across his face and he grabbed Ritsu, pinning him to the wall and kissing him with all his passion.

- This is even better than a love confession. – He said happily. He picked the younger up bridal style and headed for the bedroom. – Suddenly I feel the desire to smoke a whole carton of cigarettes. – He stated with a smirk.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN - **Guys, I'm so sorry for taking this long with the chapter. A lot of stuff happened and I just needed to sort them out. Hopefully everything's okay now. :) Also, warning, there's swearing in this chapter!

Anyway, enjoy and review please! ^_^

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**Chapter 5**

- Onodera, this needs to stop now!

Startled, Ritsu looked up to see a very furious salesman. He gulped, instinctively knowing that this had something to do with his boss. Indeed, Takafumi's next words confirmed his suspicion.

- Masamune is out of control! Do you know what he did today? He kicked one of my subordinates!

- He did what? – The green-eyed man exclaimed shocked. – Why would he do something like that?

- Well, Hemni was apparently 'taking too long' to pick a drink from the vending machine. – The older man crossed his arms. – I thought you were going to talk to him.

- I did. – Ritsu said quickly. – We decided that Takano-san would try to last till the end of the month and that I would support him all the way.

- What? So now you're not happy enough that you're making Masamune's life miserable and you need other people to suffer as well! – Takafumi exclaimed annoyed, his eyes flashing with not-so-well-hidden rage. – Don't you realise how much trouble Masamune can get into if he continues like that? He could get _fired_!

- I know that. – Ritsu replied quickly. – Look, normally I'm with him all the time, in case he gets like that. I just thought that it was safe enough for him to go get a drink by himself …

- Enough with the shitty excuses! – The other man interrupted him loudly. – Have _you_ ever tried to quit smoking?

- N-no …

- Then don't pretend to know what Masamune is going through! – Takafumi snapped.

Ritsu gasped softly and looked down at his desk, frowning sadly.

- I try to be supportive. – He said quietly. – It's true that I don't know what he's going through, but I can see how he acts and it's pretty clear for me that it's not easy for him to go through with this. I'm doing my best to help him. – He looked up at Takafumi. – I'll talk with him and ask him to go apologize to Henmi.

- Alright. – The older man nodded and turned to leave. – And this time don't let him out of your sight, Onodera! I'm holding you responsible for everything he does!

Ritsu sighed quietly and returned to his tasks.

_Just perfect_ …

When Masamune returned, Ritsu pulled him aside and quietly talked to him about the little incident from that morning. His boss rolled his eyes, muttering that it wasn't his fault for losing his patience. But after the younger begged him, the dark-haired agreed to behave properly while at work. However, Ritsu still had his doubts, so he secretly swore to himself not to leave Masamune's side, no matter how much this idea scared him.

- Well, what should we do today? – His boss asked as they were leaving Marukawa.

- I don't really know. – Ritsu replied. – Maybe we should grab a take-out and watch a movie? – He suggested.

- Hmm … that sounds like something two people who have been dating for a long time would do. – Masamune commented with a sly smirk.

- Fine then! If you don't wanna do it …

- Oi! I never said I didn't like the idea, did I? It actually sounds very good. Which movie would you like to see?

- Oh … I don't know … I don't really watch movies very often. – The green-eyed man admitted embarrassed.

- Well, is there a type of movie you'd like to see – maybe a romantic movie?

- No! – Ritsu quickly replied. – I … I don't like romantic movies … - He added quietly.

- Okay then. How about a horror flick? Or an action movie?

- Uh … I really enjoy those mystery thrillers… - The younger man said. – Maybe we could watch something like that?

Masamune nodded, smiling softly. He took the other's hand, delicately wrapping his fingers around Ritsu's thin wrist. For the first time ever there was no negative response from the younger man. He just averted his eyes and blushed lightly.

The two went home – by now Ritsu referred to his ex-lover's apartment as 'home' - where they had dinner and then settled on the sofa to watch a movie the green-eyed man had picked out. In all honesty, Masamune wasn't particularly interested in the movie and spent the next two hours cuddling the smaller male and watching him.

- Wow, that was a really good movie! – Ritsu exclaimed as the credits rolled. – Don't you think so too?

- Hm? Oh, yeah … good movie … - The dark-haired man quickly lied.

- I didn't expect the twist at the end!

- Yeah … shocking … - Masamune muttered and stood up from the sofa, stretching his stiff limbs. – I'm gonna go get a glass of water. You thirsty?

- Oh, yeah. – Ritsu nodded.

- I'll bring you some water.

Masamune went to the kitchen. He wasn't feeling particularly thirsty – he had said so just to escape talking about the movie since he knew that it would upset Ritsu if he learned that he hadn't watched it – so he just filled a glass of water for the younger man and returned to the living room.

- Here. – He handed Ritsu the glass.

- Thanks. – The green-eyed man took a small sip and then placed the glass on the coffee table. – So, which part did you like best?

- Oh geez, are we still talking about the damn movie! – Masamune snapped annoyed.

Ritsu jumped up slightly and stared at his boss wide-eyed. So far he had only been yelled at for work-related issues and while he was pretty used to it by now, hearing his ex-lover yell at him for a personal matter was a completely new and unpleasant experience for him. He bit his bottom lip to stop it from quivering.

- I'm sorry, I was just making small talk … - He tried to explain.

- Just shut it! You always keep going on and on about the same fucking thing! Always! – Masamune said loudly, crossing his arms and looking visibly upset.

- What are you …

- Everytime I try to make you open up to me you bring up something that happened over ten fucking years ago and for which I have already explained myself! – The dark-haired man shouted.

- Takano-san … where did this come from? We were talking about a movie … please don't overreact … - Ritsu whispered while shaking with fear.

He was utterly terrified. His thoughts were whirling chaotically in his head and his heart was beating wildly in his chest. Ritsu felt his eyes were filling with tears. He tried to calm his boss down.

- Takano-san, I'm sorry … please stop yelling. – He pleaded desperately.

- Why should I? Will that make you treat me better? Or what, you'll just smile to yourself that you can manipulate me and continue with your life?

It was a nightmare! Once again, Ritsu was fifteen years old and was standing in the school library, being yelled at by his beloved senpai. He swallowed hard and whimpered quietly. Once again, he felt lowly, underserving, miserable and gross. Was this how Masamune truly felt about him? What about everything he had told him about loving him? Was it a lie?

- I … I'm sorry … - He mumbled. – I'll leave now …

After Ritsu had left, Masamune took the DVD of the movie and hurled it at the wall, shattering the small disc into countless pieces. He then sat down on the floor, letting out an exasperated breath. He stared unseeing at the wall, thinking about what had just happened and the things he had said. He was still feeling rather angry – though why, he couldn't tell – but he was gradually beginning to cool down. When he was calm enough, he started to realise what he had done. He sighed, covering his eyes with a trembling hand. Why did he burst out like that? Because of a shitty movie?

_I acted like an asshole … just like back then …_

Why did he always have to fuck up things like this? Even if he was going through a tough time quitting smoking, he shouldn't have yelled at the only person who was supporting him and the only one for whom the dark-haired man actually cared. Ritsu was just beginning to warm up to him, and now … he probably hated him …

_I should go and apologize … I'll beg on my knees if I have to …_

Having made up his mind, Masamune stood up and headed to Ritsu's apartment. He knocked on the door and waited. A couple of minutes passed, but nobody came to the door. He rang the doorbell, thinking that the younger man must have not heard him knocking. But still the door remained closed. Masamune sighed. He stood there for about twenty minutes, knocking on the door and ringing the doorbell. Finally he gave up and went back to his apartment. Taking his cell phone, the dark-haired man dialled Ritsu's number. He sighed upset when nobody picked up on the other side. Falling down on his knees, Masamune allowed a few tears to roll down his cheeks.

- I'm sorry … please, forgive me … - He whispered choking.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN - **Ugh, I feel terrible for being so slow but right now I have a lot to deal with. But I promise I won't let this story die! :D Anyway, enjoy the new chapter. Reviews are welcome. :)

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**Chapter 6**

The next morning found Masamune waiting for Ritsu in front of the younger man's door. He stood there for over half an hour, waiting for his love to come out. He had to give up after more than forty minutes had passed, lest he wanted to be late for work.

When he arrived at the office, he was surprised to see that Ritsu was already there, acting like normal. Hearing his boss come in, the green-eyed man turned his head and for a brief moment their gazes locked. Masamune immediately noticed that the younger male's eyes were red and puffy – he had apparently cried before coming to work. The realization made him feel even more terrible than before and the dark-haired man quickly looked away with guilt nesting in his chest. He quickly strode to his desk and sat down, automatically getting into work mode. As much as he wanted to talk with Ritsu, he wasn't so irresponsible to neglect his duties as an editor-in-chief.

To his surprise he discovered that the green-eyed man was acting as if nothing had happened between them. If anything, he was nicer to Masamune than usual! The editor-in-chief felt anxious – what if this meant that Ritsu had completely given up on him and only saw him as a co-worker and superior now?

Another thing that shocked the dark-haired man was that he wasn't feeling neither upset with anything else, nor did he have the desire to smoke anymore. It was as if the need to make things with Ritsu better had destroyed all of his other urges.

Of course, he had to wait until he and Ritsu were alone to ask him what was going on. He knew he should be happy that the green-eyed man was not upset with him, but Masamune still wanted to know why the younger was acting like that. Did he forget what had happened – this wasn't the first time he had chosen to erase an unpleasant event from his memory, so it wasn't completely implausible – or did he just … didn't care anymore?

Finally the day was over and the editors were allowed to go home. Masamune purposely stayed behind to wait for Ritsu so that the two could go home together and possibly talk, provided the younger male was in the mood to discuss what had happened. The dark-haired man took his bag and went to Ritsu.

- You ready to go? – He asked.

The green-eyed editor flinched and turned to look at his boss. He swallowed nervously and nodded shortly.

- Y-yeah, I'm ready…

The two walked in silence for about fifteen minutes. Masamune kept glancing at the other, who had his gaze firmly fixed on the ground. The older man wanted to say something, but he was afraid to open his mouth – he knew that there was a chance he could make things worse. So he kept silent, even though he felt he was about to burst from the inside.

- I'm sorry.

Masamune quickly looked at Ritsu. He was surprised that the green-eyed man had spoken up, and even more stunned at the phrase he had used.

- What are you talking about? I should be the one apologizing. – He muttered.

- No … you're quitting smoking, it's natural to be a little irritable. – Ritsu sighed sadly. - I should have been more understanding. I shouldn't have gone home. I promised to be by your side all the time. So, I'm sorry for abandoning you like that …

Once again, they were in High school. Once again, Masamune had lashed out at the green-eyed man. And once again, Ritsu had taken all the blame. The dark-haired male sighed and shook his head defiantly. No, this time it was going to be different.

- It's not your fault, Onodera. – He said quietly. – I'm the only one to blame for what happened. I'm so sorry. I promise I'll behave better. No matter what I'm going through, I won't take it out on you ever again.

Ritsu blushed lightly and looked away. He grew silent again, but Masamune felt delicate fingers interlace with his own. He smiled happily and tugged the green-eyed man closer to him.

- I will make it up to you once we get home. – He stated and then turned to look at Ritsu. – You _are_ coming to my apartment, aren't you?

The younger nodded, blushing even more.

- I said I'd stay by your side, didn't I? – He asked quietly.

Masamune grinned but didn't say anything. The two kept on holding hands while walking, which earned the quite a few surprised looks on the train, but for once, Ritsu didn't seem to care what others thought. When they finally arrived in the older man's apartment, Masamune wrapped his arms around Ritsu, pulling the green-eyed male into a tight hug.

- I'm so happy you aren't mad at me. Especially since it's the second time I do something like this to you … - He muttered a bit sadly.

- Huh? The second time …

- Yeah. – The dark-haired man nodded. – Remember, back when we were in school? One day I yelled at you, in the library … and said some stuff I later regretted. But I never got to apologize to you. I'm sorry …

Ritsu's eyes darkened, telling Masamune his love also remembered that day. He watched the green-eyed male with a worried look on his face.

- Yeah … I remember that day. – Ritsu finally spoke quietly. – I was hurt and depressed, but I didn't blame you, to be honest. I never blamed you, because I sorta knew you were having some problems, even if you always kept quiet about it.

- Nevertheless, I should have apologized. Honestly, I don't even remember why I got so pissed off then. It wasn't you … but I can't recall the real reason … - The older man sighed.

- Don't think about this anymore … - The green-eyed man smiled lightly. - It isn't even that big of a deal. You said it too, the past is the past. What's important now is the present.

- Wow … what's got into you today? You're not as jaded as usual. – Masamune stated with a smirk.

- I just thought about things a lot after what happened last night. – Ritsu replied, averting his eyed down at the floor. – And, well, I … I have to admit I've matured a lot since I started working at Emerald. I realize that I focused too much on our past when I shouldn't have. It's been ten years, we've both gone through enormous changes … We're practically new people now. So it was wrong of me to hold you responsible for what you did when you were a teenager.

The dark-haired man smiled warmly and buried his nose in his love's auburn locks. He understood completely what the younger meant, as he was feeling the same way. He snaked his arms around Ritsu's waist and pulled him closer.

- Have you lost weight? – Masamune asked, looking at Ritsu and frowning slightly. – You seem even skinnier than before.

- Ah, I don't think so … - The green-eyed man replied. – Maybe you're imagining things? The last few days I've eaten quite regularly – thanks to you by the way – so if anything, I think I've gained weight.

- Well, be careful. I want you to be healthy.

- How many times do I have to tell you that I'm taking care of myself! – Ritsu exclaimed.

- You know, it's kinda funny … - Masamune chuckled. – You weren't angry when I yelled at you, but now you're annoyed because I showed my concern … It's kinda cute.

Ritsu blushed and looked away. He knew that the way he acted didn't make any sense, but that was just how he was. That part of him had survived even through the break-up and the ten-year-long process of jading his personality. It was slightly frustrating, though the green-eyed man was secretly glad that he hadn't changed completely.

- S-shut up … - He muttered weakly, causing his boss to chuckle.

- So cute … - Masamune repeated and pecked the younger on the lips. – So, everything's fine between us? – He asked just to be sure.

- Y-yeah, I … Ah! Takano!

Masamune hadn't even had the patience to let Ritsu finish his sentence before pulling him in for a tight hug and silencing his protests with a passionate kiss. He was just so happy that he hadn't screwed things up between him and his love again.

The dark-haired man suggested he made dinner for the two and went to the kitchen. Ritsu stayed for a while alone, in the living room, frowning at himself. Then he followed Masamune to the kitchen. Silently taking a knife, he started cutting up vegetables. It had become something ordinary for the two to prepare food together. Even though Ritsu had to admit he wasn't very good at it – it wasn't something unusual for him to cut himself accidentally or drop a cup or plate on the floor, shattering them into pieces. But his boss never seemed angry about that. He would just smile softly and go to clean the blood or sweep the floor. The green-eyed man had to admit to himself that he secretly enjoyed it when Masamune took care of his cuts or when he smiled as he assured the younger that he could always buy more plates and it was nothing to worry about.

- Hey … I've been thinking … - Masamune began when the two sat down to eat. – This thing is kinda getting out of hand. And it seems that work is just making it worse. So how about we both take a couple of days off and go somewhere? Maybe we can visit some hot springs?

- Eh? – Ritsu looked up, blinking surprised. – You mean, go somewhere … together? Like … you and me?

The dark-haired man chuckled at how difficult it was for Ritsu to process what he had just proposed. Then he nodded his head.

- Yes, that's exactly what I meant. I want to go somewhere on vacation and I want you to be there with me. – He said slowly and clearly, so that the younger could understand him completely. – We haven't been on a trip since your birthday, and that was months ago… It will be fun.

Masamune watched as the green-eyed man thought about it. He couldn't read Ritsu's face, so he felt uneasy as the two sat there in complete silence.

- Alright … - The younger man finally muttered. – If you think this will help you, will make you feel better, then we should do it. – He looked at Masamune and gave him a small smile. – But we can't just take off like this… We'll need to settle things at work, find a hotel and what not …

- Leave it all to me. – Masamune said, interrupting him. – I'm gonna take care of all of these stuff.

He couldn't hide how boundlessly happy he was that Ritsu had agreed to go away with him. The dark-haired man smiled as he looked back at his meal. He couldn't wait for their get-away to come.


End file.
